As anyone who has potty trained knows, public restrooms are worse than the political bickering in my facebook feed right now. But somehow, in the LAX airport restroom, my 3-year-old had me (and everyone else in the bathroom) in tears laughing.

It happened here:

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It went like this:

3-year-old tells me she needs to pee during our layover. I roll my eyes and groan. Hubs and I play rock, paper, scissors to determine the lucky soul. I “win.” We trudge to the restroom and find the biggest stall, which still isn’t big enough somehow. She wiggles around and touches everything. Because… WHY!? For the love of everything. WHY?? I help her pull her pants down but apparently do it wrong. SHE needs to do it. Drops her overall strap in the toilet. Tells me she needs to take her shirt off. Again, WHY!? Fine, I don’t care, take your shirt off. Can you just pee now? Today? Please? I’m literally begging her now. I try to get some kind of paper barrier between her skin and the porcelain. Futile. She doesn’t want it anyway.

Once she is finally sitting, I try to cover the auto-flush sensor, because if it flushes while she wiggles, we’re adding twenty minutes to our restroom adventure. Twenty minutes later, I’m crying and want to leave the stall. The restroom. The airport. The city. Now. Please. Finally, she pees, we wipe. Congratulations all around. Now it’s Mami’s turn. Things go a lot smoother. After the flush, 3-year-old looks up at me with so much excitement in her eyes and yells at the top of her lungs: “Good Dob Mami! YOU DID IT!!” Laughs all around. All around. Every stall was full, and there were people waiting in line. Glad I could provide some comic relief to the airport patrons today. Very red (but laughing hysterically) Mami.

And so, in honor of my awesome 3 year old, I’ve created a new BreastCardEver. For your friend who just got into her college program. Or your colleague who just got promoted. Or your nephew who just graduated. Or that mom who just took her kids on a trip that involved layovers.

Original painted with breast milk; every purchase helps a NICU baby get human milk.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/492391406

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Here’s where it gets good! I want to hear YOUR embarrassing public bathroom story. Head over to my facebook page, and share, so I can share below!

Mine was at Coors Field, so there was also a large ‘audience’ to overhear my 4 year old son ask me “mom, how can you even pee without a penis?” I laughed out loud, and so did practically everyone else within earshot

Becca from Colorado

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